Missed Fellowship...If Only I Knew Then!
Well as you see in my first post for 2007 I have been looking back on my "Walk of Faith". In doing so it has stirred up a lot of emotions inside me. Some of these emotions I have never really understood why they are so strong. Not until recently. You see. I can't even say Allan Smith's name without getting a little choke up. And it's not because he was a part of my life for as long as I can remember ... in fact it is the opposite. I didn't even meet Allan until I was 24/25 and unfortunately he passed away a few years later. But it wasn't as much the time that effected me ... as it was the message!
You see I grew up going to church and believed in God. I knew what Jesus had done for me. But I didn't really read my bible, learn the scriptures and apply them to my everyday life. I didn't pray daily. I believed I was a good person and as long a I believed in God and went to church every now and then I would be fine. My spot in heaven would be held for me. AND I sure knew I didn't need to be baptized as an adult because I was baptized as an infant.
BOY WAS I WRONG .... But Allan had a way about him that was a gift. He didn't push this on you and he didn't make you feel uncomfortable discussing it. However, he didn't let it slide either. He just knew. He knew how and when to talk, when to listen and when to give you a nudge in the right direction. I had a one-on-one bible study with Allan and in the begin I hated the thought of doing it. But I met with him each week. And each week it became easier and easier. Wouldn't you know it, by the end I was actually enjoying it. But in the end I still struggled with one big decision. To be or Not to be Baptized. I struggled with this because I now knew what it really meant and if I was to chose to do this then I would have to surrender my current way of living. I couldn't serve two masters. Again ... Allan never pushed but he often reminded. Allan did baptize me. But very shortly after this Allan passed.
I didn't get to have a bible study with him after my baptism. I also never got the chance to pick his brain the way I know he wanted me too. For that I'm sorry. I also remember how happy Allan was when I was baptized and I always thought it was because he helped to get me there. Now I know different ... it was because he could now stop worrying about me ... I had finally realized I couldn't do it my way and I was ready to let God lead.
I miss him and our fellowship ... but ... it is because of our fellowship that I am here ... And since I am still here ... I hope I can help others to find God in their lives the way Allan has done for me.
If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
(1 John Chapter 1: 6-7)
You see I grew up going to church and believed in God. I knew what Jesus had done for me. But I didn't really read my bible, learn the scriptures and apply them to my everyday life. I didn't pray daily. I believed I was a good person and as long a I believed in God and went to church every now and then I would be fine. My spot in heaven would be held for me. AND I sure knew I didn't need to be baptized as an adult because I was baptized as an infant.
BOY WAS I WRONG .... But Allan had a way about him that was a gift. He didn't push this on you and he didn't make you feel uncomfortable discussing it. However, he didn't let it slide either. He just knew. He knew how and when to talk, when to listen and when to give you a nudge in the right direction. I had a one-on-one bible study with Allan and in the begin I hated the thought of doing it. But I met with him each week. And each week it became easier and easier. Wouldn't you know it, by the end I was actually enjoying it. But in the end I still struggled with one big decision. To be or Not to be Baptized. I struggled with this because I now knew what it really meant and if I was to chose to do this then I would have to surrender my current way of living. I couldn't serve two masters. Again ... Allan never pushed but he often reminded. Allan did baptize me. But very shortly after this Allan passed.
I didn't get to have a bible study with him after my baptism. I also never got the chance to pick his brain the way I know he wanted me too. For that I'm sorry. I also remember how happy Allan was when I was baptized and I always thought it was because he helped to get me there. Now I know different ... it was because he could now stop worrying about me ... I had finally realized I couldn't do it my way and I was ready to let God lead.
I miss him and our fellowship ... but ... it is because of our fellowship that I am here ... And since I am still here ... I hope I can help others to find God in their lives the way Allan has done for me.
If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
(1 John Chapter 1: 6-7)
posted by Harley McCarville at 1:17 pm
