Parents Just Don't Understand
Now that I am a parent I realize the truth about this statement. However, I think it is more like trying to build a solid foundation for your kids while only having bits and pieces of the building plan.
It's funny, when kids are small they get mad at you, start to cry and then want you to pick'em up to comfort them. I think this is the hardest thing to deal with as they get older. They become teenagers on the verge of becoming adults. They want more independence and want to make decisions for themselves. As a parent you know this and hate it. You hate it because of what you have to give up. Which is being able to protect them. Teenagers think you are trying to control them and they don't always understand why we do what we do. As a parent, it is not always easy to explain why. Leading to the not understanding part.
I am a person who has made many mistakes. I look back and in some cases I see what led me to make these mistakes or stupid decisions. As a parent you want to do all you can to protect your child from making these same mistakes. It can be hard to explain when it hasn't even happened or may never happen to your child. It's not that you don't trust them ... it's that you don't even want them to be put in the situation where they have to make a choice. They don't understand and they feel as though we don't trust them to make the right decision ... We don't understand how they don't see that we are just trying to protect them and have their best interest at heart.
I don't know much. But what I do know is this: I love my kids. The decisions that Meredith and I make in regards to them will always be in their best interest whether they agree with these decisions and understand them or not. And I will always love my kids no matter what. And I know that Meredith and I are not alone in this ... God is with us every step of the way.
I also realize that I have to deal with another truth. Charity and Simon are now at an age where the hugs are less and the independence is more. I have to (but not completely) start to loosen the parent grip so that they can begin making their own decisions. I have to believe that the foundation we have been building is strong enough for them to start building their own life on. I also realize that they will not always agree with or understand our decisions or the advice that we offer, but because we have been there and because we only have their best interest at heart, we can only hope they will listen and follow. In the same way I realize that I am God's child and that he has made decisions and has provided advice for me and because everything he says or does is in my best interest, I need to follow it. I know our kids will not always listen. They will fall and they will get hurt. But Meredith and I will always be there to pick'em up and comfort them. Just as God has done for us.
I am not great, or even good at saying it, but I hope my family knows just how much I love them.
It's funny, when kids are small they get mad at you, start to cry and then want you to pick'em up to comfort them. I think this is the hardest thing to deal with as they get older. They become teenagers on the verge of becoming adults. They want more independence and want to make decisions for themselves. As a parent you know this and hate it. You hate it because of what you have to give up. Which is being able to protect them. Teenagers think you are trying to control them and they don't always understand why we do what we do. As a parent, it is not always easy to explain why. Leading to the not understanding part.
I am a person who has made many mistakes. I look back and in some cases I see what led me to make these mistakes or stupid decisions. As a parent you want to do all you can to protect your child from making these same mistakes. It can be hard to explain when it hasn't even happened or may never happen to your child. It's not that you don't trust them ... it's that you don't even want them to be put in the situation where they have to make a choice. They don't understand and they feel as though we don't trust them to make the right decision ... We don't understand how they don't see that we are just trying to protect them and have their best interest at heart.
I don't know much. But what I do know is this: I love my kids. The decisions that Meredith and I make in regards to them will always be in their best interest whether they agree with these decisions and understand them or not. And I will always love my kids no matter what. And I know that Meredith and I are not alone in this ... God is with us every step of the way.
I also realize that I have to deal with another truth. Charity and Simon are now at an age where the hugs are less and the independence is more. I have to (but not completely) start to loosen the parent grip so that they can begin making their own decisions. I have to believe that the foundation we have been building is strong enough for them to start building their own life on. I also realize that they will not always agree with or understand our decisions or the advice that we offer, but because we have been there and because we only have their best interest at heart, we can only hope they will listen and follow. In the same way I realize that I am God's child and that he has made decisions and has provided advice for me and because everything he says or does is in my best interest, I need to follow it. I know our kids will not always listen. They will fall and they will get hurt. But Meredith and I will always be there to pick'em up and comfort them. Just as God has done for us.
I am not great, or even good at saying it, but I hope my family knows just how much I love them.
posted by Harley McCarville at 9:24 am
Thanks for that. It made remember a few things about Gods love. And his parenting
In the same way God does, sometimes you just have to let them make mistakes, so they can learn from them. One of the biggest mistakes someone can make is to not learn from one.
I can understand it's hard, but I'm sure you're doing great Harley! You're a great guy. You have three great kids.
It's almost as if kids as they mature yern to rebel against their parents. Being young, they can't always comprehend how their parents make decisions in their best interest.
I pray you overcome any problems you might be facing :)